Lenten Retreat Part 2: Letting Evil

 Why on earth am I praying about letting evil this Lent? It can be intimidating at first, but let me explain. 

In my previous post, I pondered on the concept of 'open system' where in God can be seen as a gardener, instead of a scientist. In the open system, there is no one cause as there are various variables interacting at the same time for a long period of time. To contextualize this, let's talk about a popular question being thrown around today: Why did God allow Covid19, and its horrible consequences on our lives to happen?

At some points, I would also find myself asking"why did God create Covid?" but I know that this did not come from God. How can someone who is all goodness produce something evil? So no. It did not come from God, but he allows it to happen. My mental capacities will probably never encapsulate the answer to why God allows bad things to happen, but I am certain that amidst the evil around us, God's goodness prevails. In the God as a gardener metaphor, we remember that gardeners would allow weeds to grow with the seedlings, to prevent the risk of hurting the seedlings in the process of weeding out. 

I continued my reflection through the imaginative prayer with the scriptures. Jesus, during the questioning, torture, carrying of the cross, and death on the cross. Being in the center of all those, obviously, I dont think the Lord feels happiness. Was he angry though? Fr. Johnny said that he may be. Afterall, he is human, and it is a human tendency to feel anger. What sets Jesus apart is how he responded to the evil that was befalling on him. Isnt it that when we are faced with evil, whether contexual evil or moral evil, we are stirred with anger inside and most of the time, we respond with evil as well? We curse the person in our heads, we lose hope in the country and its leaders, we think ill. Sometimes we would even act in an ill manner. Jesus on the other hand, is deep in his commitment to finish what he has started, and part of that is responding to evil, with defiance. He stayed on his path to the cross when he could have walked a different path instead, without anybody stopping him. 

In my own experience, I have lost count of the number of times I responded to evil by turning to my original sin. "Its too hard, and besides, everyone is doing it this way, so it cant be so bad, right?"  Fr. Johnny compared our original sin to a path in the woods. Because people have walked on that path before, people follow and as more and more people walk on that path, the clearer that path becomes. In the case of Jesus, he did not respond by following the human tendency to 'walk on the commonly used path of sinfulness.' Instead, he remained on his trail.

I cannot make evil disappear, whether it is contextual evil like calamities and diseases, nor can I stop the moral evil of the people around me. However, I can let evil happen without falling into evil. Jesus did it actively. he was not passive during his passion. 

With the efforts of defying evil, we get wounded like Jesus. I pray for healing and forgiveness. When I do not have the will nor the power to forgive, 

Lord, grant me the grace to want to forgive, and the will to heal. When I have lost hope to defy evil, be patient with me and keep me in your arms always.