You're rendered useless

Warning: This post is full of rage and negativity


So I have been fully employed in this school now for three years. I have made my fair share of contributions and flaws that have contributed to who I am today.

This may not be new to most of you; surprise surprise, I hate my boss. I love the person but I hate his administrative persona. He's a micromanager who won't let a piece of you grow on your own. While other managers give feedback and allows you to move forward from his feedback, mine would simply point out where you got it wrong, and overhaul everything without asking or telling you.

Why do I not simply try to negotiate and reason with him? Oh believe me, I have tried. I have many times won the argument. Unfortunately, at the end of it all, I am the mere subordinate and he remains to be my boss. His favorite line is "I have the prerogative as the department chairperson."

He simply do not accept that he has flaws. He is (to him) omniscient and is not capable of making mistakes. Everyone else is subjected to his intelligence and perfectionism; hence, his compulsive need to correct and revise everybody else's hard work.

I do hate the person. There are days that I just weep in the bathroom stall because I feel so inefficient and so useless. If it wasnt for the appraisal I get from the higher administrators, I would really think I am stupid and a waste.

Modesty aside, I know I am not perfect but I am sure capable of bringing great work onto the table. I have seen my works fail and succeed many times. I have asked mentors to guide me in doing all things at work, yet nothing seem to please him.

Lord, I may not be perfect, but please dont let the outer voice become my inner voice.

This is a humbling lesson for me. Teach me please to practice patience and self control. I need it in order to grow wiser.